Saturday, May 12, 2012

Waiting to see "I do"

Every time I look at our refrigerator (which is quite frequently), I am faced with three wedding invitations.  This is evidence that wedding season is upon us. This week, with all of the Time magazine hub bub, I couldn't help asking myself if I was, in fact, mom enough to let my little man grow up.  Oh, we are way past nursing issues (and I won't even chime in my opinion).  We have even conquered potty training and pre-school.  But as my mind swirled with images of wedding invitations and my sweet little man,  tears filled my eyes.  I am incredibly overly dramatic, given that my little man is only four and surely his wedding is a couple of decades away.

Still, as I cuddled up with him in his Spiderman blanket watching him sleep, I began to think of all of the things I would like to tell his future wife.  Seeing as the web is forever, I thought I would just jot that list down here.

  • I will be able to tell the first time he brings you home that he adores you.  I may know before he does that you are "the one" because I will have seen that look of adoration hundreds of times, only all of those times it was directed at me.
  • I will be both relieved and devastated that he has found someone to adore. I have become quite accustomed to being the most important woman in his life.
  • My reluctance to let him go will have nothing to do with you.  It will be a mixture of sadness marking the official end of his childhood and the fear that he will never again need me.  Don't take my feelings personally.  I've been dreading this day since he was four.
  • I will teach him to pick up after himself, to do laundry, put away dishes, and vacuum.  This is a wedding gift 20 years in the making.  In return I ask that you make sure he calls home more often than my birthday and Mother's Day.
  •  Every time he was hurt or scared, I held him until he felt better. This is now your job.  He may never tell you that he needs it, but I need to know you will hold him when life beats him down.
  • When you look at him, you will see a grown, independent man.  I will see a toddler in a Spiderman costume, eating fruit snacks and building a Lego world.  You won't understand this until you have a son.  By then it will be too late for me to explain. Besides, there will be no need. You will get it the first time you hold him in your arms.
  • He adored me.  More than anything, at one time, this little man thought his mommy could do no wrong.  That position in his heart belongs to you now. Please live up to it, because it is precious and very hard for me to pass on.
  • He is perfect. Even though he is loud and stubborn, opinionated and messy. I couldn't change who he is at his core, and neither can you.  Your life will be easier and indefinitely more fantastic if you embrace all that he is.
  • You will walk down the aisle and your father will give you away.  I will sit not too far from there silently doing the same.  It will break my heart.
  • I will love you because my son loves you, and I will see it every time he looks at you. And when I see you look at him the same way, I will love you even more.
  • I will teach him how to love unconditionally.  Please do not ever abuse that privilege.
  • Please do not ever ask me to chose between you and him.  I will almost certainly chose him every time.  This does not have anything to do with you.  If he is ever in a position to chose between you and me, I expect him to chose you.  That doesn't mean I will like it.
  • I will make my best effort to remember what it was like to be young and so in love that nothing mattered but how much I loved my future husband.  In turn, please try to imagine what it is like to give away a piece of your heart, because that is what I'm doing.
  • I have been praying for you since the day he was born.  I know that God chose you for him. This is the one thing that will help me let him go.

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