Friday, May 4, 2012

Waiting for the Force

Apparently May 4 has been declared by people who like science fiction and puns to be Star Wars Day.  May the 4th be with you.  Get it?  I know, fun right.

Since I married a Star Wars fan (I refuse to use the word geek since that word is reserved explicitly to describe how he feels about Twitter), I thought I would dedicate a post to all of you gals out there who married, or may someday marry, a Star Wars Fan.

Here are a few things I have learned.

Image courtesy of Wikipedia
 - When you have a son, he will not be allowed to play with his dad's Millennium Falcon no matter how much he begs.  You will have to explain even though daddy never plays with his ship, he doesn't share it. Then you will have to explain why sometimes daddy doesn't have to share his toys when your children are always required to share theirs.


 - It is not okay for your daughter to make daddy's Hans Solo doll drive the pink Barbie VW, even if the top is down.

- Hans Solo is an action figure, not a doll. 


 - Apparently, it is not spelled O B 1 Kanobe.


 - Hans Solo was sealed in carbonite, not frozen in wax.  Continually saying that he was frozen in wax will drive your spouse crazy, so I encourage you to do so.


 - Every man has a fantasy about Princess Leia in the metal bikini.  Every man.  This applies to gay men, blind men, and men who have never seen the movie.  


 - Even though the first three Star Wars movies are horrible, you are not allowed to make fun of them, because they are, in the end, part of the entire series and therefore sacred.


 - Every time the trilogy (or now all six movies) are re-released for any reason, no matter how insignificant, your husband will need a new copy. Even if he hasn't taken the last copy out of the shrink wrap. 


 - At some point in time your toddler will say that Yoda built the ark, and your husband will be okay with it.


- When you are deep in the throws of an argument with your husband, and he is silently and intently staring at you, he is trying to use the force.  (These are not the dirty socks you are looking for).


 - He will buy new Star Wars the Clone Wars toys "for your kids."  These he has to share, which makes him incredibly happy since he can never play with his "new in the box" collectables.


- He can not hold a light saber (or anything that resembles one) without making the vrznnmmmm noise.

- He is irritated at how I just spelled the noise a light saber makes and will spend the next few minutes trying to determine the correct spelling. 

- Every time he gets a microphone (real or plastic), he will put his mouth over it and say "Luke, I am your father."

- Every time one of the movies (especially the original trilogy) is on tv, he will reminisce about the first time he saw it in the theater and how amazing the special effects were.


- He will not find it amusing if you make fun of either of those things.


- At one point in his life he wanted to name his first son Lando.


- At about that same time he wanted to be a bounty hunter when he grew up.

- He can not remember his mom's birthday, but can name all of the characters (including the monsters and robots), from the original trilogy. He can also tell you what year each movie was released and who took him to go see them.

- Whenever a competition is in full swing (especially if there is a tall or bearded competitor), he will say, "Let the wookie win."

And lastly,
 - He will ask to walk down the aisle to a song from Star Wars at your wedding.  You will say no, because people don't do that, and then at the very next wedding you go to, the couple will walk out to the exact song he wanted.  He will never let you live this down.  Unless you name your next kid Lando. 


Did I miss anything? 


Happy Star Wars Day!  May the 4th be with you.

7 comments:

  1. I can see your husband pretty much doing all these things...and see nothing wrong with it.

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  2. Rolling of the floor and about to pee my pants I am laughing so hard. this is sooo my husband. thank you. thank you for letting me know I am not the only one.

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  3. oh and my name is jennifer but i am using my sons email hehe no gay man here just a lovely working mom!

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  4. @Kelly - According to our son, he did.

    @Zach (Jennifer) - I'm sure gay men have the same issues with their spouses. And totally unrelated - Working moms rock!

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  5. Okaaay - so some of this may just apply to some moms out there too. Scotty is probably lucky we didn't have boy/girl twins or we might have had a Luke & Leia. Just sayin . . .

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