Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Toasting with Water - What really matters.

It seems like television has been overrun with reality TV.  Whether it is dropping people on a remote island, celebrity dancing competitions, toddlers acting like they rule the world or parents acting like toddlers, people can't seem to get enough of watching the glory and the misery of others.

But more often than not there seems to be a lack of reality in reality TV.

Take for instance those reality wedding shows.

You know, like when you see one wedding where and one thing after another goes wrong. For instance, The Singer shows up at the rehearsal and has learned the wrong song and The Maid of Honor and Best Man, who have had an on again off again relationship are currently off again and are barely speaking. And then the night before the wedding The Groom's fun-loving but slightly crazy Mexican Cousin shows up and takes Him and The Best Man out to some 75 Year Old Hippie's apartment where they drink rum and listen to old jazz LP's to 4 a.m.

On the wedding day the Sound Guy doesn't show up and all of the sound equipment is locked up and all of the wedding music is pre-recorded until he walks in dramatically two minutes before the wedding is supposed to start and The Minister, who is also The Father of the Bride, sends him running  to the balcony with the CD of Pachelbel's Canon while The Brother of the Bride, who is supposed to walk The Bride down the aisle, is tap dancing outside the bride's room in an effort to stop crying because The Photographer, who was also two hours late, is yelling at him because his eyes are completely bloodshot and ruining all of the photos.  During the ceremony, the unity candle refuses to light and takes nearly the entire song, which has now become a duet to hide the fact The Singer just learned it six hours ago. Somewhere in the back of the church The Bride's Uncle (hailing from West Monroe, LA before Duck Dynasty made it cool) is in his overalls on camera saying, "A Catholic boy is marrying a Pentecostal girl in a Baptist church.  There's gonna be a rumble."

Fast forward to the reception where The Band is over two hours late and has also locked up the sound system, thereby denying the use of any music or microphones and leaving the room in dead silence until a group takes to the dance floor with an acoustic version of the chicken dance. The champagne runs out long before The Couple's toast, so they opt to toast with punch.  No punch.  So they toast with water directly from the water fountain in the hotel hallwayThe Photographer has an emergency and has to leave to go pick up his son so the couple has to move up their first dance. Before The Band arrives.  Their Bridesmaid sings a stunningly beautiful rendition of From this Moment. Acapella. As she hits the last note, The Band walks in.  The Best Man, whose on again off again love affair with whiskey is currently on, is sufficiently drunk by the time of the toast and the words "The Groom's Mom grabbed my a**" somehow make it into the toast. The Father of the Bride dances his first dance. Ever.  In. His. Life. When the Father/Daughter dance comes on.  The Bride has chosen "My Girl."  They walk on the dance floor.  The Band instead plays the Longest Mexican Waltz known to man.  It lasts at least 27 minutes. At some point all of The Groom's Aunts begin stuffing dollars in the Father of the Groom's pants, who has taken a turn singing with The Band (one of whose leaders happens to be the aforementioned Fun-Loving but Slightly Crazy Mexican Cousin).

At some this particular wedding becomes so bizarre, so unrealistic, I turn to my husband and say, "Reality TV is so scripted,"  at which point he would normally look up from Twitter where he would be checking the Rangers score, agree with me and go back to Twitter.

However, since this is our wedding video, he looks up for a little longer. And smiles.

Fourteen years ago today, Richie and I experienced what I can only say was a complete and utter disaster of a wedding.  I hardly cannot think of one thing that didn't go wrong.

Well, I can think of one thing.

I married the right person. 

As I look back on the last fourteen years I can say our lives have been a lot like our wedding.  We have made a lot of plans and had a lot of grand ideas about what our lives, our jobs, our homes, and our kids were going to look like.  And like our wedding, very rarely have things turned out exactly like we have planned.  But like our wedding, most of the things that don't turn out like we plan don't really don't matter in the long run.

Some days we toast with champagne and some days we toast with water straight from the tap. In plastic cups. With a sick kid. Watching Nacho Libre. On our anniversary. 

But we are in it together.

And I can honestly say, I wouldn't change a thing.  About our wedding or our life.  Because when you choose the right person it doesn't matter what song you're dancing to, just as long as you keep dancing.

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