Thursday, October 8, 2009

Waiting for the St#%id Birds

The following is a conversation that took place between me and my five year old daughter while driving home from church. The background information will put the conversation in context.


1. Every fall approximately one million grackles descend on Fort Worth. Grackles are nasty black birds whose soul purpose in life is to ruin what would otherwise be the best season in Texas.

2. I hate birds. I believe they can, and want to, poke out your eyes. I have not seen Alf

The Birds - Alfred Hitchcock themeImage by Digika via Flickr

red Hitchcock's movie, The Birds. There is no reason for me to see it. I am already scared of birds. The only thing I hate more than birds is clowns. A hawk flying at me dressed like the clown from It; that is my idea of hell.

3. To our daughter, stupid is a four letter word.

My daughter's initials are AK.


AK - Mommy, look at all the birds!

Me - Yep. The stupid birds are back.

AK - Mommy, why did you say stupid?
My husband nudges me and smiles - Yeah honey, why did you say stupid?

Me - Mommy doesn't like. . . Well, you see, mommy is afraid of. . . Mommy is sorry.

AK - Will you promise never to say stupid ever again?

I pause. I think of all the birds, those darn birds. I also think of the Texas Legislature.

Me - No. I can't promise never to say it again. But I will try harder.


  1. No grackles here - just stupid snow and stupid icy roads! Mom

  2. Birds are not that scary. The clown from 'IT' is. Our kids are cool. And yes, that was a funny interaction between you and AK in the car last week.

  3. girl, huge masses of birds and crazy clowns are both more than slightly disconcerting. they aren't my biggest fears, but as someone who equates escalators with 200-ton metal jaws of death, i get it. i also like the comment about the texas legislature.