1. Every fall approximately one million grackles descend on Fort Worth. Grackles are nasty black birds whose soul purpose in life is to ruin what would otherwise be the best season in Texas.
2. I hate birds. I believe they can, and want to, poke out your eyes. I have not seen Alf
Image by Digika via Flickrred Hitchcock's movie, The Birds. There is no reason for me to see it. I am already scared of birds. The only thing I hate more than birds is clowns. A hawk flying at me dressed like the clown from It; that is my idea of hell.
3. To our daughter, stupid is a four letter word.
My daughter's initials are AK.
AK - Mommy, look at all the birds!
Me - Yep. The stupid birds are back.
AK - Mommy, why did you say stupid?
My husband nudges me and smiles - Yeah honey, why did you say stupid?
Me - Mommy doesn't like. . . Well, you see, mommy is afraid of. . . Mommy is sorry.
AK - Will you promise never to say stupid ever again?
I pause. I think of all the birds, those darn birds. I also think of the Texas Legislature.
Me - No. I can't promise never to say it again. But I will try harder.